Jana Mettwali

English 21003

Professor Zayas

Introductory Letter

February 5, 2025

My Journey in Language and Identity

If you had met me a few years ago, you might not have recognized me as the same person writing this letter. My story is one of transition—across countries, languages, and even within myself. Moving to the U.S. twice, first as a child and later as a teenager, shaped the way I see the world, the way I write, and even the way I express myself. Writing has always been my tool for navigating these shifts, though it wasn’t always easy.

I have always found words fascinating. Language is more than just a way to communicate—it is a way to connect, to express, and to shape one’s identity. Being bilingual has made me deeply aware of how language influences thoughts and emotions. Sometimes, I feel like I live between two linguistic worlds: my native Arabic and the English I have worked hard to master. There are ideas and emotions that I can express better in one language than the other, which sometimes makes me feel like two versions of myself exist.

I’m passionate about understanding people—their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors—which is why I chose to study psychology. I love exploring how the human mind works, especially in relation to mental health and sleep deprivation, a topic that deeply interests me. I’ve personally experienced how stress and anxiety can impact sleep and overall well-being, and I want to learn more about the science behind it. I hope that one day, my studies will allow me to help others who struggle with mental health challenges.

Beyond academics, I have a passion for storytelling. Whether it’s through writing, conversations, or analyzing books and movies, I find great value in narratives. Stories are how we make sense of the world and how we connect with others. I enjoy observing people’s expressions, tone of voice, and mannerisms—small details that reveal their emotions and experiences.

 However, I haven’t always been confident in my voice. Moving back to the U.S. after years away meant struggling with language barriers, adapting to a new academic system, and sometimes feeling like an outsider. At first, my accent made me hesitant to speak in class, and I feared judgment. Over time, I realized that my experiences—learning English, adjusting to new environments, and pushing past discomfort—made me stronger.

Most people don’t know that I love deep conversations, but I struggle to initiate them. Small talk doesn’t interest me much, but I’m always eager to hear about people’s lives, thoughts, and dreams. I prefer late-night conversations about the meaning of life over casual talk about the weather. However, I sometimes hesitate to ask deeper questions because I don’t want to come across as intrusive.

I also have a habit of overanalyzing things—conversations, decisions, even simple interactions. It can be exhausting, but it also makes me observant. I notice small details that others might overlook, and I think deeply about the emotions and intentions behind people’s words. This tendency has helped me in many ways, but it has also made me prone to second-guessing myself. I am learning to balance my introspective nature with a more relaxed approach to life.

I can be patient with a lot of things, but ignorance without the effort to learn frustrates me the most. Whether it’s people refusing to see different perspectives or making assumptions about others, I struggle with how unwilling some are to step outside their own worldview. This ties into another pet peeve—when people don’t take responsibility for their actions. I believe in owning up to mistakes and learning from them rather than avoiding accountability.

I also get frustrated when people judge others without knowing their full story. Everyone carries experiences and struggles that shape who they are. I try my best to understand people before forming an opinion, and I wish more people would do the same.

My friends and family see me as determined but reserved. They know that when I set my mind to something, I won’t stop until I achieve it, whether it’s excelling in my coursework or adjusting to a new environment. They also see me as someone who thinks deeply but doesn’t always express everything I feel. While I love understanding others, I sometimes struggle to open up about my own emotions.

At the same time, my friends often tell me that I have a calming presence. I am someone they can turn to when they need to vent, and I listen without judgment. I value deep connections, and I try to be there for the people I care about.

One of the biggest turning points in my life was moving back to the U.S. two years ago. Adjusting to a new school system, learning academic English, and catching up with my peers in a short time were overwhelming challenges. But they also shaped me. I worked hard, took multiple exams, and earned my spot at City College of New York—something I’m incredibly proud of. That experience taught me that I’m capable of more than I sometimes believe.

Another defining moment was when I realized that mental health affects everything—especially sleep. I’ve experienced firsthand how anxiety can disrupt sleep, making everything harder to manage. This led me to research the impact of sleep deprivation, and it has now become one of my academic interests.

Additionally, my experiences adjusting to different cultures have shaped my perspective on identity. I have struggled with the feeling of belonging—of not being fully American but also not being fully the person I was before moving. Over time, I have learned to embrace this complexity as a strength rather than a limitation.

As a writer and student, I bring my unique perspective as someone who has navigated multiple cultures and languages. My background shapes how I observe the world, and I hope to refine my ability to express my thoughts with clarity and confidence. I want to grow into someone who not only analyzes and understands people but also connects with them through meaningful conversations and writing.

In the future, I hope to use my knowledge of psychology to make a difference, whether through research, counseling, or another path I have yet to discover. I want to help others navigate their own struggles, just as I have worked through mine.

This letter is just a small introduction, but I hope it gives you a glimpse of who I am. I look forward to learning more in this class—not just about writing, but about how writing helps us understand ourselves and the world around us.